The Long Road

This is my 500th post. Seriously? Have I really shared that much? As I look back at the past few years, it's like a dream. We've been through so much in such a short time. Two beautiful daughters. Nine unborn angels. A new home. A new community. Basically, a new life in the deep south with incredible relationships across the country. It's crazy. We miss our long-distance friends, but we belong here in Hattiesburg. Truly.

I'm thinking about going back to the beginning of this blog to read the whole thing and see what God has done in our lives (and hopefully how I've grown). I may be the only reader, now that my blogs have dwindled from daily to monthly. My analytics program says that 40,000 people have visited this blog (which seems hard to believe), and my sincere apologies to each one of you for the cutback. Although I miss writing (and the catharsis that accompanies it), I'm also enjoying the time away from the computer. Time is precious. Every minute online is a moment of their childhood.

Speaking of which, here are my beauties in all their glory--along with some of God's amazing creation:

51 Seconds of Love

I have two precious daughters. They're my reason to fight back and help find a cure for cancer within my lifetime. If you feel led to donate, please visit http://the3day.org/goto/Ramona. I'll walk 60 miles on your behalf.

Reflections on Infertility

I've had a great deal of time to reflect on our journey through infertility and adoption. If I had it to do over again, there are certainly some things I'd do differently.

Most importantly, I would put complete faith in the Lord and trust in His provision. Although I felt that I fully depended on Him during our attempts to get pregnant, I now realize that there were times I pursued my selfish desires instead of waiting on the Lord. My yearning for a child was so profound and intense that I could not see straight, let alone make the wisest decisions at every moment.

Of course, hindsight always seems to offer a much clearer perspective than the vision that's present in the thick of emotional and physical strife. My faith was in its infancy during the majority of our fertility treatments, and now that it's growing and maturing, I have a greater ability to trust and rest in the Lord.

Looking back, I did pretty well with what I was given, but I definitely see areas in need of improvement. You live and learn. Now I am in the process of allowing that wisdom to guide us in the right direction.

Adopting is one of the best things we've ever done, and I am hopeful that our family will continue to grow by that means. I'm so thankful that God led us to be adoptive parents, even if it took many roadblocks and detours to get there. Infertility is a long road, one that we'll continue to travel for many years to come.

There is nothing more challenging and fulfilling that being a mother. Thank you for encouraging and supporting me along the way!

Dressed up for Liliana's "Buh-Bye Pull-ups" party. Liliana requested silly dress up clothes and a homemade chocolate cake. Notice the remnants on her face! We try to have fun around here!

Sole Sistas

Three weeks ago, I finished my first half-marathon. This October, I will walk 60 miles in three days.

No, I'm not crazy. I'm committed.

My family and friends have been hit hard by cancer. My father, grandfather and great-grandfather all died of lung cancer. My dear friend, Kate, is currently battling brain cancer. My training partner, Chami, recently won her fight with ovarian cancer. My cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer in January, and Wade's aunt is in the fight of her life against this ruthless disease.

I hate cancer...and I want to see a cure during my lifetime!

Please support me as I take an amazing journey in the fight against breast cancer! The Breast Cancer 3-Day is a 60-mile walk over the course of three days. My team, the Sole Sistas, is a group of 1st-time participants, boldly hoping to raise $25,000 in the next few months. All proceeds benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure and National Philanthropic Trust, funding important breast cancer research, education, screening, and treatment.

The 3-Day gives me the unique opportunity to celebrate the lives of those who have battled cancer, remember loved ones lost, and support the Susan G. Komen lifesaving mission by fighting back against a disease that has already taken too much.


I have been so very blessed in this life, and I want to give to others in a big way. Please help me make a difference. If every person who reads these words will pledge just $1, we can make an impact in the lives of so many women across the country. Click here to get more information about the 3-Day or donate to this cause.

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement and support!

And the journey continues,
Ramona

FINALLY!

We are thrilled to share that Leila's adoption is final! Finally! On April 15th, 2009, our precious 9-month-old girl became a permanent member of our family. We praise the Lord for a happy ending to this part of our journey. The process was much more difficult than I can explain, and the reward oh-so sweet. Here we are in the St. Louis County family court after the finalization hearing.

Rejoicing, Ramona

Everyday Glory

God's glory is all around us. It is in the rising sun, the laughter of a child, and the tender bud pushing up through the soil. It is in the comfort of a friend and the kindness of a stranger.
His wonder is everywhere, if only we look for it.

Here are images of God's majestic creation, just outside our door...

Southern Living

The south is home to a crazy culinary event that centers around creepy, crawly crustaceans. It's called a crawfish boil, and people flock from miles around to peel and eat (and suck the heads) of these things. Saturday was our first mudbug boil as Mississippians, and it was Leila's first time seeing a crawfish. Here she is checking out the bucket of live crawfish being "purged" in salt water. Nasty! Liliana missed the critters, but had a special outing with Grammy and Grandfather. Since it included playgrounds, animals, ice cream and a Happy Meal, we're pretty sure she liked the arrangement!

I'm not a fan of seafood. I've tried every squirmy sea critter that's been put in front of me, and I haven't enjoyed a single bite. It's too bad, because we now have access to fresh seafood all of the time. So, that's my husband's department. Since I wasn't going to eat any crawfish, I decided I had to hold one. This bad boy was still alive!


After the outdoor festivities, we took it inside for a little Rock Band action. I'm a mama, so I've never gotten into any video games...but I could definitely get into this. I LOVE to sing, and I'm always too nervous to sing in front of an audience. But I did it anyway...and it was so much fun! Here are some of my fellow rockers and friends!

Home to Stay

Please forgive my sporadic posting since our move to Hattiesburg. I'm still adjusting to this new life, and my blog has suffered serious neglect. Although living in the south has come with some huge changes, I love it. Not only that, but I belong here! It seems crazy to say that, especially since I was digging my heels into the St. Louis dirt just a few months ago...but it's the honest truth. I feel it. I know it. I truly belong here.

It's amazing how God has blessed us during the past four months. He has put terrific people in our path, and we now have wonderful friends and a loving church family. We fit right in, and it's such a fabulous feeling. A huge thank you to everyone who has helped us to feel so welcome!

Here are some of our closest friends at Mardi Gras last weekend. The Greers (on the left) also teamed up with us for the FPC chili cook-off in January...and we took home the big prize! The Kanes (on the right) are our mirror-image friends who live across the street. Chami and I are training for a half-marathon in April. We have so much fun together!

Above is a group of girls from the church. Most of these gals are in our Sunday School class and the Tuesday night Bible Study. I had an opportunity to share my testimony at the last study, and I was so blessed by the experience. I look forward to hearing everyone else's stories in the months to come. This was the first girls' night out, and I'm hoping it becomes a regular thing! I love my girlfriend time!

All in all, things are good. On the health front: I'm recovering from my third bout of the stomach flu, and my girls both have bronchitis. It seems like everyone I know is battling some type illnesses. Wade is the only healthy one. He just returned from an 8-day trip to Arizona and California, and we celebrated his birthday on Thursday. Happy Birthday, Wade!

Lots of love from Mississippi!

Blessings,
Ramona

Twenty Thousand Words

Photographs by Nicole Gourley http://www.spiritsbreezephotography.net

Happy Valentine's Day from our family to yours!

Ramona

Memorable Moments

This is my favorite video clip of all time. It features my girls in one of their many hilarious interactions. I guarantee you will smile, and it's highly likely you'll laugh out loud.

Speaking of laughter, here are Liliana's latest and greatest comments...

"Mommy, I wish it was Christmas, so I could have a jackhammer. I'd use it to break up the ground and dig for worms and rocks and toys."

(When helping Leila to stand) "Just believe, Leila. Just believe. God the Father almighty will protect you!"

"Mama, keep an eye on me, because I'm doing something bad."

Hope your day is filled with memorable moments!

Blessings, Ramona

Blessed Beyond Belief

It seems that the weeks are flying right by. I've had a few bouts of homesickness, but overall, I'm loving our new home and community. We've been soaking up the sunshine and warm temps, renovating this quirky house and getting to know our new friends. While Hattiesburg is definitely trailing St. Louis in the things-to-do-with-kids category, it is not lacking in kind, caring people...and that's really important to us.

We're also thrilled about our large property. The girls play outside most of the day (left: Leila sitting in the grass on a sunny afternoon), and we are all fascinated by the wildlife. We have so many beautiful birds, lizards, chameleons, frogs and insects to keep us company in the yard. At the same time, we have met our nemesis: fire ants.

No matter what the weather is like, the girls love to keep each other company. I couldn't be happier about the way their relationship continues to grow and blossom. They absolutely adore one another. I love seeing the way Leila's face brightens when Liliana enters the room and observing Liliana's sweet words and actions. As Leila's birthmother aptly put it, "They're two peas in a pod!" (Left: sisters cuddling on the sofa, like they do almost every morning.)


Liliana is already psyched for this year's Mardi Gras festivities, which are set for the mid to end of February. I'm particularly stoked about the unlimited supply of King cakes during the next six weeks (a perk of living close to New Orleans)! Like last year, we'll be celebrating in New Orleans with friends. Our hotel is located in a family-friendly area right on the parade route. And, contrary to popular belief, the daytime events really are for families (i.e., we shout to receive beads).

This week was very momentous for both of our girls. Liliana began riding her bike without training wheels. Aside from forgetting she could steer (and trying to eat the azaleas a couple times), she was a natural.

We are thankful to have a long driveway for perfecting new skills. Each day, I grab a piece of chalk, walk to the 3/4 point of the driveway, draw a line across it's width and write, "STOP." And Liliana swipes the chalk and adds an extra line to the "P," making it an "R." She thinks it's so funny, and I think it's cool that she can write all of her letters!

Precious Leila is already six months old, and she learned to sit without support this week. On Monday, she was very unstable, toppling over every minute or so. But by Wednesday, she was able to sit for almost 30 minutes! She's a rock star!

Although getting here has been quite the journey, we are so blessed to be a family of four. We absolutely adore our precious daughters, and we thank the Lord for them every single day!

Reflections and Resolutions

Farewell 2008, welcome 2009! To say that last year was a roller coaster is...well, a major understatement. Pregnancy, miscarriage, foster placement, legal risk adoption, 600-mile relocation, new job, new house, new school, new church, new life. Enough said.

Today I find myself quite reflective and resolute. I've been examining my experiences, and I know what I need to do. Since I like to keep my promises, I won't vow to exercise daily or become a vegan. And against my better judgement, my resolutions will be neither objective nor measurable. Instead, I'm focusing on the state of my heart and my relationships. So, here goes...

In 2009, I resolve to:
* Be a phenomenal friend.
* Err on the side of generosity.
* Do all things in love.

May this be the best year yet!

Many blessings to you and yours,
Ramona

My Beautiful Girls

From Our Family to Yours

Merry Christmas from Mississippi! Here we are on the beach in Ocean Springs during a visit with Wade's brother & family. We've been enjoying unbelievably warm temperatures this week. In fact, I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt right now, and I've had to run the ceiling fans to cool the house. Is it really the end of December?! It feels like May!



Liliana and I have been tackling the heaping boxes that once covered our dining room floor, and I'm psyched to have only a few left! Finally, there's light at the end of the tunnel. It'll be so nice to have dinner at the dining room table for the first time.

Here are the girly-girls on our new sofa (thanks to Hudsons, my favorite store) in the living room. They're so cute together. Liliana dotes on Leila, and Leila smiles and laughs at Liliana like nobody's business!

Wade and I are absolutely stoked about being so close to the beach. There's no place we'd rather be than in the warm sand on a sunny day, and now we're just a short drive away. Liliana and Leila will be such beach bums this summer.


We are also enjoying more frequent date nights than we were able to have in STL, thanks to retired Grammy and Grandfather (Wade's parents). We attended a Christmas party last night, and we had so much fun that we were the last to leave!

Liliana seems to be adjusting a bit better the past few days, now that we've unearthed her favorite toys. She is on Christmas break until the first week of January, so we'll have plenty of time to play and enjoy the this crazy warm weather. Liliana is still falling pretty frequently, which is a major concern. I had to pick her up early on Monday after a serious faceplant on the classroom floor. And on Tuesday night, she fell against the corner of the coffee table and gashed the back of her head. Poor darling! We're praying it's just the stress of the move and nothing grave. Please pray for her!

Leila Bean (as we affectionately call her) now rolls over, sits up and is eating rice cereal, carrots and sweet potatoes. She likes to be in the middle of all the action, especially when there's a large group of people. The term "social butterfly" is a really an understatement for her. She would rather "talk" to and watch people than sleep!

We feel very blessed this holiday season, and we wish you every happiness. Merry Christmas and much love to one and all!

The Latest and Greatest

I can't believe we've been in Mississippi for six weeks. The time has flown by, especially with the holidays in full swing. We are loving it here, much to my surprise. I thought I might like it, but I certainly didn't expect to love it!

We've got a fabulous new church family, and we feel right at home. We're making new friends and getting connected to the community more quickly than I could have imagined. The people are so friendly and welcoming. Of course, it's also wonderful to be near Wade's family. We see them almost every day, and they've been a tremendous help during this time of adjustment. I'm so thankful that God has surrounded us with love and blessed us in this new adventure.

As for our home, it's coming right along. We have almost two acres of beautiful land, with a large number of giant pine trees in the yard and azalea bushes lining both sides of our long driveway. A small creek runs along the back of our property, and Liliana enjoys hunting around for acorns, pine cones, berries and other treasures. Our front yard is large enough for a respectable pick-up game of soccer or football. Although we haven't met many of our neighbors, we're planning to venture out with the stroller this week. Left: our family in the back yard on a warm December day.

We're especially psyched about the weather here. Today was sunny & 70 degrees, and tomorrow the forecast calls for 80-degree weather! On December 15th, no less!

Despite the warmth, we're decked out in Christmas spirit. We decorated our tree a couple weeks ago (here's Liliana in her "Santa's Little Helper" hat), and Santa visited last week. Liliana hid when the jolly man arrived, while Leila stared in wonder. At least there were no tears, which is a major improvement from last year. After St. Nick left our home and flew back to the North Pole, Liliana asked, "Mommy, does Santa have feet and toenails under those boots?" When I said, "Yes," she asserted, "Well, I think he's just a human being dressed up like Santa." Amazing. She's four stinkin' years old!

On a more serious note, please lift Liliana up in prayer. She's still having a difficult time adjusting to our new home, and her daily behavior reflects it. I know she'll eventually grow to love it, but it saddens me to see her struggle right now. She has such a tender heart, and I pray that it heals quickly.

As for Leila, she is still as sweet as ever. She's probably the most happy and social baby I've ever known. We are enjoying every moment with her, and so thankful that the Lord brought her to our family. She is now sitting up with support, eating rice cereal and sweet potatoes (like a good Southern girl) and rolling over. Leila "talks" and smiles all of the time, and she's the life of every party. She's such a blessing. We're thrilled to report that our adoption will be final on April 15th...just four short months away!

Save the date, St. Louis friends, because we'd love to spend time with you when we're in town! Hopefully we'll be there in Jan. for a wedding, too. We'll keep you posted!

Now, a little about Wade. My dear husband is working so hard these days. He's the executive business director for Pine Grove, a major residential treatment provider in the area. Not only is he thriving in the new company, he is also renovating the house and taking extra time to be with the girls. Both Liliana and Leila are so excited to see him when he returns home every day. It's absolutely precious to see their eyes light up (and Liliana run to the door) as soon as they hear him come in. If only every child loved Daddy so much!

Well, I certainly hope ya'll are rejoicing during this advent season. We sure are!

Many blessings to you,

Ramona the Southern Belle

Southern Thanksgiving

Christmas is just around the corner, and I'm lovin' every minute of the holiday season. This is my favorite time of year. It's magical, even without snow. Here is a sample of our Thanksgiving festivities...

This Thanksgiving was very special for us. Not only was it our first holiday in our new home, but we were also blessed to spend it with thirty family members. Much to my surprise, my mom even journeyed to Mississippi to enjoy a taste of Hattiesburg! It was a joy to have her with us for the week, and we are hopeful that she'll make it an annual trip!

Leila was the life of the party, smiling, laughing and "talking" nearly every waking moment. The entire family fell in love with her. Even though she wasn't feeling her best (fighting a cold), nobody would have known it. She is definitely a little social butterfly...and we love it!

Liliana had a ball with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins in town. Her favorite activities were Hungry Hippo (or, as she calls it: "Rhino Rampage") and creating crazy concoctions with spices, baking ingredients and food coloring. Her final project was a very strange-smelling "chocolate pudding" with meatballs in it. Yum!

After our Thanksgiving lunch and November birthday celebration, the guys played a serious football game on the front lawn. I couldn't resist capturing the style and sportsmanship of our fellas in this photo. Nice form, Wardy!

At the end of the day, we all cuddled up in our jammies and relaxed at our cozy casa. Here's Leila with her Blabla, Chloe (thanks, Aunt Marcia). She loves having her own toys and dolls to hug and, well, eat. Everything goes in her mouth now that she's teething!

Happy holidays, one and all!

Photos of Our Mississippi Adventure

Here's our new life in Mississippi! We're missing the midwest, but loving the south. The Lord has certainly blessed our family in our new community.

Liliana's second first day of school. Poor baby had to meet her classmates with cuts and bruises all over her face (from a nasty spill on Halloween). She now goes to school three days a week, rather than two. That's been an adjustment for both mommy and Liliana. She seems to love her teachers and new friends, and her teacher says she fit right in on her first day.

Leila started eating rice cereal about 10 days ago. She loves to blow raspberries when her mouth is full, so the food flies all over. As you can see here, she enjoys mealtime. As a matter of fact, she enjoys just about everything. Leila is the happiest baby I've ever encountered.
Less than a week after we arrived in Mississippi, we ventured to New Orleans with the church nursery group. And I'm so glad we did! Not only did we have a fabulous family outing, but we also met a bunch of young families who quickly became friends. We already feel very connected.

Liliana loves the zoo, but the animals couldn't compete with the playgrounds. She had such a ball climbing and sliding that she didn't even care to look at the exhibits. In fact, she and her little friend, Charlie, pretended to build a fire with sticks for over 30 minutes while the adults chatted.

Here are the primate girls. Of course, my faves were the monkeys, chimps and gorillas. Leila watched and smiled at the people walking by all day long. She is extraordinarily social. In fact, she often chooses social time over eating and sleeping.

Here we are at the Hattiesburg zoo. After having so many wonderful experiences at the St. Louis zoo, we found our H'burg outing to be rather anticlimactic. We took a "behind the scenes" tour that lasted exactly eight minutes. Okay, so what the community lacks in animal attractions, it more than compensates with friendly people.

Liliana and her pal, Vivian, pet a baby crocodile at the H'burg zoo.

Liliana dressed up like Daddy, who wears a suit to work almost every single day. His job is quite demanding, and we don't see him as much as we used to. Liliana has definitely noticed. Almost every day, she comments that she misses her daddy.

Liliana dressed up like Mommy, perfectly accessorized with STL hat and sleeping baby.


Leila absolutely adores her new exersaucer. She looks so proud when she creates sounds and music with the various toys. And she seems like such a big girl standing up in the seat. I can't believe she's already 20 weeks old!

Liliana's school held their annual Thanksgiving feast on Friday. Here she is as an Indian Princess. As I snapped this photo, she just finished saying, "Mama, hurry! My teeth are chattering!"

Here's Liliana at the feast. Notice the blonde braid in the back. It was the insurance policy, just in case she balked on the wig.

Connecting

After less than three weeks in Mississippi, I find that I am quickly embracing my inner Southern Belle. My tendency toward a fast-paced way of life is showing signs of a slowdown, and my Midwestern accent has adopted a slight drawl. And, of course, I've always appreciated a cleverly accessorized outfit and a perfectly coiffed mane!

The people I've met are so friendly and caring, and it seems that many folks are going out of their way to help us feel welcome. We also dived head-first into church and community activities, which has accelerated our ability to get connected. Apart from intermittent moments of sadness and longing, I'm starting to feel more at home. I still miss our St. Louis lives, but I also see great things ahead here.

I wish I could say the same for sweet Liliana. She has been having a very difficult time adjusting to the new environment. She asks to go "back home to Missouri" almost daily, and she frequently cries about missing her friends, school and our neighborhood. Her behavior has been extremely hard to manage, and her mood seems to swing by the minute. To make matters worse, it appears that poor Liliana is experiencing effects of a concussion sustained on Halloween eve. Her balance and coordination are so out of whack that she continually falls and/or has accidents involving her head & face. On top of all that, she has also been battling a viral infection for the past few days. So, please remember her in your prayers...and lift up her health and heart to the Great Healer!

As I close, I must express our heartfelt thanks to those who continue to support and encourage us along this journey. We are so grateful for family and friends, old and new!

Many blessings,
Ramona

Missing Home

Today it hit me. I don't live in St. Louis, Missouri. I live in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Until now, the move has felt more like a vacation. We hung out with family, went to a couple zoos, dined at restaurants and stayed with Wade's parents. Now that we're living in our new home, reality is beginning to set in.

I can no longer walk out of my front door and hang out with close friends. I can't catch up with pals at Sunday services and in the carpool line. I can't see our beloved small group friends every Wednesday night. There's no Trader Joe's, Houlihans, or Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. I miss my friends. I miss my old life. I'm homesick...very homesick.

On the flip side, I'm keenly aware of the blessings in this new adventure. We're close to family, the beach and friendly people who say, "Yes, Ma'am." Wade has a fab new job, Liliana's new school is terrific, our new church family is wonderful and I've had the opportunity to decorate our new house. But everything is new and it's just not home...yet. Please pray for my heart as I seek to serve Him in this new place.

Blessings,
Ramona

Quick Update

We're still alive and up to our necks in boxes. Hopefully we'll be living in our new home very soon. Today we took a break from renovating and unpacking to go with our church group to the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans. Not only was it a nice diversion, but it was also a terrific opportunity to make new friends. We need them, especially when we're missing our old friends so much!

Southern Greetings

We're in Mississippi, ya'll! And it has been a whirlwind. We arrived at 2:00am Sunday, slept for a few hours and then unloaded the moving trucks all day. After a short snooze, it was off to school for Liliana's first day (photo forthcoming) and a frenzy of unpacking & arranging.

The house is coming along, slowly but surely. All of the updates are beautiful (thanks to my hard-working hubby)...and we should be able to move in in about a week. Right now, we're shacked up with the in-laws and getting acquainted with our new hometown.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers during this time of transition. We miss you, St. Louis! Come visit soon!

Farewell, St. Louis!

Say it ain't so, Joe! Here we are on Halloween as the Palin family. Today we finish packing, load up the trucks and head to our new home in Mississippi. We are so sad to be leaving the people we love, but we look forward to this new adventure. Thank you for all the sweet memories, friends. We love you and we'll see you soon!

Every blessing,

Ramona (for the family of four)

Moving Time

I'm in it...last minute! I can't believe the moment is finally approaching. We move this weekend! Although I'm sad to be leaving, I'm ready to get the move out of the way. I feel like we've been living in limbo for a month. Our bags are packed, but the house isn't quite ready for the moving company (who arrives tomorrow morning to pack our stuff). So much to do, so little time! Please pray for strength, stamina, guidance and joy as we make this transition.

Blessings to you!

That's Random

Good thing God is in control when life seems out of control. I'm definitely feelin' the chaos these days. Today I'm fighting a migraine...so it looks like we're going to worship from home and miss our last Sunday at Covenant. I was looking forward to one last day with our church family. Bummer.

Liliana is a riot. She just called to me from her Noggin (TV) time and said, "Mama. I'm watching a new show about Halloween. It doesn't have any bad guys in it, and it is propiate for kids." I laughed out loud.

Here's one of my new faves, Francesca Battistelli...especially "Time in Between," "I'm Letting Go" and "Beautiful, Beautiful." A powerful voice and even more powerful message...

Leila's Big Day

Sunday was very special for us. We celebrated Leila Madeline's baptism and adoption placement ceremonies, and it was such a delight to share the blessed day with our moms, Leila's birth family and a few of our closest friends. (A magnifying glass may be required to locate individuals on the group shot.) Thank you to each and every one who joined us, and especially those who helped behind the scenes to make the event a success. With the exception of poor little Leila's sleep deprivation, the day was absolutely perfect! Thanks be to God!

Finally!

It's official! Leila Madeline is home to stay!! We are thrilled and oh-so-thankful for this precious blessing. The hearing went beautifully, and the entire courtroom rejoiced at its conclusion. The judge even gave Leila a little gift...a not-so-infant-friendly cherry Tootsie Pop. I told him that I'd save it for her--it'll be her very first sweet treat. For those interested in the legal mumbo jumbo, we now have six months of post-placement supervision until finalization (and a new birth certificate), but it's all a formality. The legal risk is over. Praise God! Let's all celebrate!

Counting Down!

Tomorrow is the big day! In less than 12 hours Leila Madeline will be our adoptive daughter. She is already much more than that in our hearts, but it will be a wonderful relief to make it legal! I feel giddy, nervous and exhausted, all at the same time...kind of like a bride-to-be. I'm going to try to sleep. Try.

Thank you for your support, encouragement and prayers! Thank you, Lord, for this child!

Neighborhood Night Out

Wade and I had an opportunity to go out with neighbors on Friday night--just the big kids. It was only our 2nd evening apart from the girls in over three months...and it was wonderful to be reminded of how much fun we have together! After hanging out with our friends at O'Charley's for a couple hours, we ventured out to Brunswick for some side-splitting bowling antics.

Left: here we are in classic bowling attire.

Below is a pic of the whole gang. The lighting wasn't fantastic, but I think each person is recognizable (with a magnifying glass). Thanks for a super send-off! We are going to miss our neighborhood family like it's nobody's business!

Family Portrait

Here we are--one big happy family! Below is the photo I mentioned a few weeks ago. It didn't scan so well, but you get the picture (pun intended) of our love for Leila Madeline!

Less than one business day 'til we break free from the ranks of foster care and becomes an adoptive family! Our hearing is Tuesday morning--and, since Monday is a holiday--this is the last day that the adoption could be disrupted. We hope and pray for an uneventful afternoon!

This weekend is an exciting one for us. Tonight, we will be "celebrating" our new adventure by going out with neighbors. And Sunday afternoon is our big celebration (notice I have decided to celebrate instead of saying "good-bye"). We are so grateful to those hosting and all who plan to partay with us! We are going to miss our STL friends so much!

Three Months Down, Six Business Days to Go!

Leila Madeline is three months old today! The time has gone by so fast--and so slow--at the same time. Our court hearing is October 14th, first thing in the morning. Only six business days to go! That's how we measure it, by the number of business days, because the courts are only open for business Mon-Fri. We heart weekends!

This is one time I'm thankful for crazy busy lives. Hopefully the days will cruise right along. This Friday, our sweet neighbors are gathering to send us off in style. And Sunday is a big farewell party (thanks, Dave & Kate!) where we'll have the opportunity to see most of our STL friends in one place. We're really looking forward to it!

Leila's baptism and placement ceremony are scheduled for the 19th, and I couldn't be more stoked! We are thrilled to share this blessed day with Leila's birth family, our family and our dear friends. It's going to be such an amazing testimony of God's grace and provision. We know that this adoption is something very rare & special, and everyone will get to see just how beautiful it can be!

Here's to the high points!

Here Am I, Send Me

Whew--it's been a wild week! We've been preparing to move, planning a birthday party (which was wonderful, by the way) and getting ready for Leila's baptism & placement ceremony. In the midst of this controlled chaos, we received word that a spot opened up for Liliana at the PCA school in Mississippi. As a result, we will be moving three weeks earlier than originally thought (we were going to stick around St. Louis so that she could stay in school). So, our crazy lives just got a little crazier. In less than a month--we'll be 600 miles away. I can't believe it!

I have a peace about relocating, but it's more bitter than sweet right now. I'm so sad to be leaving our treasured friends and twelve years of connections to the St. Louis area. We have created a lovely little nest here--in a neighborhood with many of our best friends, and our church has become like family to us. It's hard to leave that behind.

Then again, I know that God is leading us to Mississippi...and I look forward to seeing what he has planned for us. I was driving home from the hospital today (more health concerns--I'll elaborate later), I heard a song that perfectly articulated the way I feel about this time in our lives. Here are the touching lyrics and a link:



Downhere - "Here I Am"
From the album Ending Is Beginning

Sometimes Your calling, comes in dream
Sometimes in comes in the Spirit's breeze
You reach for the deepest hope in me
And call out for the things of eternity
But I'm a man, of dust and stains,
You move in me, so I can say

Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am.

When setbacks and failures, and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand
I know that You will finish what You began
And these broken parts You will redeem
Become the song that I can sing

Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness
And the fear that I'll fail You in the end
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together, but You can

Here I Am, all my life an offering to You,
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan--
Here I am.


"...here am I, send me." Isaiah 6:8

Important Dates

Four years ago today, our miracle child was born and we held her in our arms for the very first time. What a thrilling memory, the first of countless precious moments with our angel. Happy Birthday, Liliana! We adore you!

I'm happy to announce that another important date is finally on the books! Less than three weeks from today--October 14th--is Leila's TPR hearing, after which she will officially be a part of our family. Although the adoption won't be final until April (yes, three months longer than originally expected--long story), the wait is mostly a formality. More hoops to jump through, thanks to Missouri law. And it'll be worth every moment.

God willing, everything will go smoothly between now and then. If so, Leila's baptism will take place on October 19th. We are really looking forward to celebrating her life and our faith with our friends, church family, her birth family and our extended family...all of the people who love Leila and have prayed for this adoption.

All in all, lots of good things going on. We are exceedingly blessed!

Two Blessings

I'm in love with my girls. Here are some highlights of this week. Above, Liliana recites a Bible verse and sings "Amazing Grace." She is such an independent, loving 3.99 year old...and I'm proud to be her mommy!

Below, Leila displays her growing repertoire of expressions and vocalizations. She's such a sweet, happy girl...and I feel blessed by her presence in our family.

Tribute to Liliana

This is Liliana's birthday week (we celebrate for a full week in our family). Last night, we went to Dave and Buster's to kick off the celebration. Here's Liliana with the prize pony she chose at the end of game time. Big surprise--it's pink--perfect for her new bedroom in Mississippi.

As soon as we got home, she jumped on Bubble Gum (it's new name) as started riding around. All of the sudden, she jumped off, grabbed her yellow hard hat from the toy basket and put it on her head. She climbed back on the pony and started swinging the hat around, yelling, "Yeeeee-haw! Yeeee-haw!"



























Not only does Liliana have serious equestrian skills, but she has also become quite the little artist. Above is a drawing of "Miss Shelly," our Parents As Teachers specialist, who came to visit earlier that morning. Notice the curly hair and earrings. Miss Shelly will be so proud! Even at almost four years old, Liliana is still ambidextrous. She writes and plays equally well with both hands. It's actually very cool to see. I hope she will continue down this road. The opponents won't know what hit 'em when she bats or dribbles with her south paw! And, she so active that she's bound to break a hand at some point!



Speaking of which, watch our little monkey in action on the elliptical machine. She uses it for exercise, climbing and gymnastics!

Who Needs A Pool?

Liliana is hilarious. Every day, she has us laughing out loud at her silly antics. A couple days ago, I was on the sofa feeding Leila, while listening to Liliana play on the deck. When it got quiet, I quickly got up to check on her. This is what I found: princess Liliana seated on a plastic throne in the middle of her sandbox, which was filled with rainwater and toys.

She looked so pleased with her perch as she poured water all over her legs and arms (dispite Mommy's one request that she NOT get her dress wet). So much for that! You'll see her tough, independent side in the video that follows. I love parenthood!

And The Plot Thickens...

Great news! It looks like we're less than four weeks away from our big day in court. The TPR hearing has been tentatively set for the morning of October 14th. This waiting period has been long and emotionally challenging, and we look forward to the glorious day when we know that Leila is home to stay!

As our adoption drama unfolds, we find ourselves in the midst of another unexpected, life-changing situation. About three weeks ago, Wade received an impressive (and very unexpected) job offer. He was asked to become the Director of Business Operations for the behavioral health division of a major hospital in Mississippi--in the town where Wade grew up & his parents still reside.

Initially, we were stunned. Then, we protested. After that, excitement began to build. And after careful and prayerful consideration, we are now confident that God is calling us to accept this position and begin the next season of our lives.

This is a bittersweet time for us. We absolutely adore our lives in St. Louis—especially our church family, our neighborhood, Liliana’s school and our summer pool community. Yet, we are also thrilled to be with family and close to the beach! Most importantly, we desire to be faithful to God’s plan for our family. As we furiously prepare our home for the move, we are also preparing our hearts and minds for the changes ahead and grieving the impending separation from the people we love.

Although the timeline is still uncertain, we estimate that Wade will begin the job in late October. We want to maximize Liliana’s academic experience, honor prior commitments and spend more time with friends before we leave. Once in Mississippi, Wade will have a couple weeks to prepare our new home (the house that belonged to Wade’s paternal grandparents) before he starts the new job. We plan to keep our St. Louis home and transform it into a rental property...so, if you know a family in need of a good home, let us know!

Of course, we will visit St. Louis often and nurture our beloved relationships from afar (thank goodness for modern technology). Although we’ll be living elsewhere, our ties to St. Louis will always remain strong. We are so thankful for our years here and the lifelong friendships and memories we’ve made. We truly appreciate your support, encouragement and prayers as we make this transition.

Much love from our family to yours,
Wade, Ramona , Liliana and Leila

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Leila "talks" to me...

Liliana talks to God...

The Longing in Our Hearts

Today was our first formal photo session as a family. Seeing our family of four in a portrait really moved me. I didn't expect it, but a whole host of feelings arose. One of the images was so beautiful that it almost brought me to tears. The photographer captured it as I held Leila in my arms and we all looked at her with adoring expressions. (The company seemed to appreciate our story & even asked permission to submit the photo in a portrait competition.) It seems that every day brings an experience like this--a situation that reflects Leila's permanent place in our hearts and our aching desire to have it secured in the courts. God willing, we'll be able to set the hearing date this week.

Praying that our sweetheart is home to stay!

The Wisdom of Children

Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted.

A little girl said, 'I know all about adoption. I was adopted..'

'What does it mean to be adopted?', asked another child.

'It means', said the girl, 'that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!'

Two Months

One of the things we often hear is how Leila Madeline fits right in with our family, and how she resembles Liliana as a baby. Here's Liliana when she was Leila's age. Although Liliana refused to show her sweet dimples, it's clear to see the similarity between the girls. One major difference: Liliana had a three-pound head start!

Yesterday was Leila's 2-month well-baby visit. Our pumpkin weighed in at 10 lbs., 13 oz., despite the recent increase in projectile vomiting. Due to a concern that Leila may have pyloric stenosis, the doc ordered an ultrasound at St. John's Mercy. Just three hours after her exam (and four painful shots), poor Leila had to undergo another round of poking and prodding.

Suffice it to say that there was a great deal of crying and screaming. And that was just my part! Seriously, though, Leila raged so hard at the hospital that we almost took her to the ER. After an hour of trying every soothing trick in the book, she finally calmed down enough to take her home. Sweet girl was so exhausted...and so were we!

Throughout the rest of the evening, Liliana held Leila's hand and kissed her on the head while saying, "It's alright, baby Leila. You'll feel better soon." Oh, they're so adorable together! I think they're going to be the best of friends!

I digress. So, a day of drama to determine that Leila has severe acid reflux and a spasming pylorus (no stenosis, praise the Lord). We had the opportunity to watch her organs function as the doc performed the ultrasound...which was pretty cool, but not worth a moment of our sweetie's suffering. We are now waiting to hear from the pediatrician to discuss how to proceed with Leila's treatment. We're praying for an effective strategy to alleviate all pain and discomfort.

Well, that's our Monday. Hope your week is terrific!
Blessings,

Leila at Two Months

Leila is two months old! She smiles all of the time, and she is an absolute delight! Now, if only her acid reflux would disappear--the symptoms increased dramatically this week, and (despite the changes we've made to help decrease it) the poor baby has been throwing up after almost every meal. We're praying that the doctor can give us a solution Monday morning.

Here's Leila Madeline in all her glory. She is so very loved!

Frustrated By the Process

Well, what was originally supposed to be a 60-day process has now stretched to 100+, and I am frustrated! While I haven't forgotten that we are blessed to have an adoption in progress, I find this process to be less than palatable. We've experienced delay after disappointing delay--and it feels like our risk period will never end. At this point, our court hearing will be around October 15th. When every day seems like a week, that date appears to be far in the distance. Please pray that this adoption will be protected and that we will have patience and strength as we wait for God's perfect timing.

Labor Day Weekend in St. Louis

My mom, brother & nephews joined us in the STL for Labor Day weekend. Although it was a whirlwind, we had a terrific time together. We spent an afternoon at the City Museum on Saturday, along with half of metro St. Louis. If you've never been there, GO! What an amazing & total indescribable place. Here we are at the entrance, ready to tackle every square foot of the attraction. (L to R: Leila, Mona, Luke, Russell, Liliana, Wade, Clayton. Mom was behind the camera.)

The kids enjoyed climbing all of the crazy structures, creating masterpieces, watching the sealife and sliding down the 10-story slide (no, that's not a typo). Here they are in the craft section, showing off their painting skills. The City Museum was so exhausting that everyone went to bed early--including yours truly. I broke my adult record and zonked out at 7:45pm.

After church on Sunday, the kiddos had plenty of playtime at our house. Liliana, Luke and Clayton blew bubbles, drove motorized vehicles and played on the playground while Leila slept. When Leila was awake, the boys were enamored with their baby cousin. They studied her every move and tried to be near her as much as possible. In fact, I frequently had to remind them to give her room to breathe!

Liliana and Leila are the only girls on my side of the family, and there's only one other on Wade's side...so we're happy to have added a girly girl to the family.


Below: four little cousins hang out in one chair. Luke and Liliana wore matching jammies. Darling!

Smiling Faces

Today was Liliana's 2nd day of school. And, yes, I did get her to school on time (thank you very much). She loves her teacher and her classmates, and I'm so thankful. Today I picked her up as the students were lining up to leave. As she walked away from the group, I heard at least seven little voices yell, "Bye, Liliana!" That was the highlight of my day.

The rest of our day was meltdown city. Chalk it up to adjustment. After all, this is her first week of school.

Yesterday I met with Leila's birthmother at Bethany's office. It was wonderful to spend some time with her, and it seemed like she enjoyed spending time with Leila & me. Leila showed off her superb eating and pooping skills. Two of the nastiest diapers ever. At least she was true to form!

Leila Madeline has been smiling at me A TON today. She's been alert and interactive for two-hour stretches, which makes life more interesting.

Here are some photos from earlier today. Enjoy!

Ramona in '08

Check this out (or click on the video)...and cast your vote for me!



I'm Ramona Lisa, and I approved this message.

My Baby Is All Growed Up

Today was Liliana's first day of school! Here she is at the door, ready as ever. What an exciting occasion for Liliana, and what a bittersweet time for me. I'm so proud of the little person she has become and thrilled to see what God has planned for her. Yet, it's also sad to experience the first step toward the day when she flies away from our comfy little nest.

I thought, for sure, that I would bawl my eyes out. Fortunately for me--and unfortunately for her--my emotional connection was quickly thwarted when I realized that we were, indeed, not 10 minutes early for a 9:00am start, but rather 20 minutes tardy for an 8:30am start! I was mortified! How I could have made that mistake, I'll never know. But I will certainly not forget that I made my daughter late for her first ever day of school.

Award for Loving School on the First Day: Liliana
Award for Untimely & Socially Aloof Mommy: Ramona

Welcome to my world.

Wedding Belle

Liliana is always beautiful to me, but she especially melted my heart Friday night. Here is my darling as we added the final touches for the wedding. We both agreed that she looked just like a princess.

The wedding ceremony and reception took place at the Butterfly House in Chesterfield. What a gorgeous setting for the event. We were so thankful for great (but humid) weather, instead of the thunderstorms that were predicted. Left: Liliana gazes at the lily pads on the pond.

This is one of my favorite photos of Liliana. Although she's probably thinking about creepy, crawly bugs or climbing on the playground, I prefer to think she's pondering how much she loves her mommy. Oh, she's gorgeous!

Liliana walks down the brick path, preparing for her big debut. She was so enamored with her surroundings that we didn't need toys to entertain her between photo sessions and the main event.

My little flower girl. Beneath this girly exterior is a well-rounded child who loves digging in the dirt as much as playing with dolls. Throughout the evening, she took a dozen adults by the hand and said "I have to show you something." At some point during each conversation she said, "Look! You cannot believe your eyes..."

When it was time to shine, Liliana knew exactly what to do...until the father of the bride handed her a crisp one dollar bill. Suddenly, the flower girl abandoned the plan and became the "dollar girl." She left the ring bearer and ran down the aisle (forgetting to sprinkle rose petals), saying, "Mommy, mommy! Look at my dollar!"

During the ceremony, Liliana was handsomely rewarded with Skittles (which were also a strategic move to keep her quiet for the nuptials). After the wedding, Liliana smiled through yet another photo session, and then she was free to eat, drink and be merry. Here we are with Cindy as we danced the night away.

Above, Liliana holds Kristen's train for a professional photo. As soon as the photographer was distracted, Mommy snapped one, too.

The event wasn't complete until we got our beloved family photo.

Congratulations, Kristen and Steven!

A Few Notes

Woo-hoo!!! Leila slept from midnight to 8:00am, and I feel like a new woman. I know it may not happen again for several days...but there's now light at the end of the sleepy tunnel. Hooray for Leila!

Our lives have been a bit hectic these days with planning for the start of school, preparing for a friend's wedding and spending time with my BFF Cindy (who is in town for 6 weeks)...not to mention plenty of preschooler antics and an unpredictable newborn. It's definitely a good kind of busy, but crazy nonetheless.

Here's Cindy, Kristen (the bride) and me at Kobe Tuesday night.

Liliana will be the flower girl in Kristen's wedding tomorrow. I can't wait to share a photo of her in the most gorgeous & glamorous get-up. Last night was the rehearsal, and Liliana did a wonderful job. I was so proud of her, especially since children of this age tend not to cooperate when all eyes are on them. She was the life of the party, hanging out with all of the adults--and saying the funniest things. I wish I had recorded her interactions throughout the night.

Oh, how I love parenthood and it's many unexpected rewards!
Blessings,

My Growing Girls

Okay, who's injecting my children with growth hormones? Kids are supposed to "grow like weeds," but this is insane!

Leila had a well-baby visit today. She's 5.5 weeks old and already weighs 9 lbs. 6 oz. (2 ounces less than Liliana was a birth)! Since little Leila started at only 6 lbs. 14 oz., I'd say she is growing by leaps and bounds.

Leila was so good for the doctor, who indicated that she's a perfectly healthy baby. Next visit, shots!

Liliana is, as usual, off the charts for height and weight. In addition, her shoe size increased from a 10 to a 12.5 over the summer. So much for the size 11 spring styles I bought on clearance last year. Looks like Liliana and I will be sharing shoes by the time she's in the 3rd grade (and I'm a size 10). Unbelievable!

What am I going to do with these girls? Gymnastics is out. Swimming and soccer are definitely in. Maybe basketball, too.

Wade the Olympian

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

My Aunt Jules sent this to me, and I HAD to share it with you. This is funny for so many reasons. First and foremost, I've had an extensive (and intense) relationship with diving, including a connection with Olympic diving. Second, Wade's powerhouse dives include the cannonball, watermelon and belly-flop. Third, this has got to be the most unflattering image of my husband. Enjoy!

The Moods of Leila Madeline

Pure happiness. (My fave)

Sheer contentment.

Rare laughter.

All-too-common crying.

Shhh...Baby Sleeping

The only thing better than a peaceful, sleeping baby is a smiling baby! Here's Leila Madeline snoozing away. I have yet to capture that elusive smile on film, but yesterday I experienced one that lasted for 12 full seconds! Where's the camera when you need it?!

Adoption Update:

Things are moving in the right direction...crawling at the pace of an old turtle.

When we brought Leila Madeline home (exactly four weeks ago), we knew that the risk period would last 60-90 days. [In our case, the risk is that Leila's birthfather could fight the process and cause the adoption to fall through. As for Leila's birthmother, she's totally on board--in fact, she's the co-captain. She chose our family and is committed to the adoption...and, we adore her and are happy that she is a part of our lives.]

As usual, Murphy's law has applied to our legal situation, and we will likely exceed the 90 day mark. Our attorney stated that it will be "about" (which probably means more than) 60 days from this point until the coveted court hearing, the proceeding that upgrades us from "foster-to-adopt" parents to adoptive parents. And it's much more than semantics. After the hearing, we will have full legal rights and be free to make decisions in every aspect of Leila's life.

Right now, we are bound by foster care guidelines. Some of the restrictions are fine, but others are a burden. Examples: we must have permission to travel, we're unable to take her to the pediatrician we know and trust (because she's on medicaid) and we must report every detail to a social worker. Coupled with the fact that we are just guardians in the eyes of the law, it's a constant struggle to really feel like Leila is our child.

We are 100% committed to Leila and the adoption process. We adore her and know she belongs in our family. But loving a child like our own, while also knowing that she could be ripped from our arms, is extremely stressful. I feel like I'm living with a 100 pound weight on my shoulders, and it's absolutely exhausting. I can't wait until this weight is lifted and I can just love this little girl and be her mommy.

This is a difficult journey, but I am thankful that God has led us down this road. Despite my fear and anxiety, I trust His plan. I pray that the Lord continues to give all of us strength, stamina and hope, while protecting this adoption and ensuring that Leila Madeline is home to stay.

May God bless you and yours,

Milestones for Munchkins

As of 4:48am, Leila Madeline has been in the world for one month! We're so happy she's a part of our family.

Big sister Liliana starts school three weeks from today. Yikes! I can't believe my baby is leaving the nest and spreading her wings. Yes, it's only six hours a week (and it's only pre-preschool), but it'll be her first time entering student-hood...and I'll miss her! I'm such a sap. My babies are my life.

Our Little Hot Rod

From a very early age, we knew Liliana would be a daredevil. It started with climbing tall structures and jumping on beds and then quickly progressed to making obstacle courses and riding her bike (or a neighbor's scooter or skateboard) at mind-boggling speeds. Now, much to my chagrin, a friend gave us two motorized vehicles...and Daddy was only too happy to accept.

Here's Liliana on her hot rod (which she named "Orange"). Don't you just love the girly-girl on a tough lookin' roadster? Oh, the irony. Next she's going to be jumping out of airplanes. Please pray for us!

Have a looksie at Liliana's 2nd ride on her Hawg...

Sisterhood of the Shared Pillow

Today has been very special for us. Leila and I started with a pleasant (yippee) early morning feeding while I got my Fox & Friends fix. When Liliana woke up, I opened her door and held Leila so it looked like she was greeting her sister alone in the doorway. Liliana got a kick out of the antic.



















Then the two sweethearts shared a pillow for a few moments of especially memorable bonding. I love the first image, because the girls are gazing into one another's eyes. So precious! The second has obvious appeal--they're both visibly happy.




















Later, Leila experienced her first full bath (her umbilical cord finally came off to reveal a darling "innie"). Liliana gently bathed her, and Leila enjoyed every warm, sudsy moment.



















Here is a precious moment. Liliana washed Leila's tummy and called her "sweet pumpkin," while little wet baby looked directly at her.





















What adorable features, and what a sweet girl! It's remarkable how much Leila looks like Liliana did at that age, especially when she smiles. My next mission is to capture the gigantic smile that shows off Leila's dimples. She has begun smiling and cooing when she sees my face & hears my voice. So cool! Thank you, God, for this beautiful blessing!

Bye Bye Acid Reflux

Thank you, modern medicine! After only 24 hours on her medications, little Leila Madeline is doing much better. What an answer to prayer. Yahoo!!

Although I've been pretty exhausted lately, I felt adventurous enough to take the girls to the pool today. Leila enjoyed a cool spot in the shade while Liliana did her thing on the slide and diving board. It was a nice treat for Liliana, who has been graciously going with the flow since little sister arrived. Of course, all of the pool moms oohed and aahed over the newest member of the swim community. The pool outing was quite the juggling act, but an enjoyable break from the confines of our humble abode.

Thanks for lifting Leila (and the entire fam) up in prayer. We are ever grateful!

So Long Sleep, Hello Spit-Up

Wow, has the past week been rough! The honeymoon was beautiful, but I'm afraid it has come to an end. After a relatively easy couple of weeks, we're now coping with major sleep deprivation, lots of crying and a frustrating medical situation. We adore this precious girl, so she's worth every sleepless moment (and after all, we did sign up for this), but it's definitely a challenging time.

Sweet Leila Madeline has been struggling with serious pain (and projectile spit-ups) during eating, and we're trying everything to help her feel better. We've been through Similac, Good Start with Natural Cultures, and now she's drinking Isomil Advance (soy formula). We initially thought she might have a dairy allergy, but--since she's not loving the soy either--it's looking like acid reflux or something physiological may be the culprit. Either way, our baby is suffering...and we're going to get to the bottom of it!

The doctor recommended Mylanta (to coat the esophagus and tummy before feedings) and prescribed a low dose of baby Zantac. We're hopeful that the regimen with take away the pain without any side effects. It feels so odd to give medication to a three week old, but it's much better than the alternative.

You do everything you can to protect your child--and when something gets in the way, you feel so helpless. Man alive, this is one of the hardest aspects of parenting!

Praying for wisdom, guidance, patience and restored health for Leila.
Ramona

Inspirational Team Hoyt

This moved me.

A son asked his father, "Dad, will you run a marathon with me?"
The father has a heart condition, but agrees anyway.
His love for his son prevails.
They complete the marathon together and go on to run many more.
One day, the son asked his father to compete in the Ironman Triathlon.
His father said "Yes." With great strength and perseverance,
they finished the race together.

Prepare to be inspired...



The Team Hoyt Story

Team Hoyt Website

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Our New Normal

There's nothing like a trip to the beach to escape the stress of life, and there's nothing like coming home to relax after a long trip! We're so glad to be back to "normal" life--albeit a very new kind of normal.

Now that we're settled in, we're experiencing what it's really like to be a foursome. Leila Madeline is as sweet as ever, although she has definitely discovered the power of her vocal cords. She sleeps about 18 hours a day (often snuggled up to me in the ergo carrier--like right now). Wade is back to work, and Liliana is enjoying her typical daily activities. When Leila is awake, Liliana takes a break from her dolls (or bike or sandbox) to love on her little sister. As for me, I'm sleep-deprived and covered in spit-up, but the baby in my arms is worth every un-glamorous moment.

I am overjoyed to have two little girls, and I'm so thankful that God has entrusted us with Leila Madeline. She is a blessing to our family, but I must honestly say that adoption is a difficult road. The uncertainty of this process (particularly with the ongoing risk) continues to weigh on me--day in and day out. I try to place my trust in God and put my anxieties aside, but it's much easier said than done. The uneasy feeling is always present--and probably will be for the next 45-75 days (depending on how things unfold)--and it's so hard to just enjoy the moment.

Please pray that Leila is home to stay and that our hearts would know peace and comfort in the midst of this stressful process. Also, please lift up Leila's birthmother, Dana, and her family as they continue to adjust to their new normal. I think about them often and look forward to their role in our child's life.

Despite the inescapable uncertainty, this is an intriguing and beautiful adoption story...and what an amazing Author! All glory and praise to our loving God.

Sand and Surf

Here are a couple video clips from our recent adventures. Above, Liliana surfs (with a little help from Daddy). Below, the boys try to master the skim board. With many not-so-hot attempts under his belt, Wade finally enjoys a sweet success!

Dauphin Island Vacation

We just returned from a dreamy vacation on Dauphin Island, where we stayed with Wade's family in a lovely beach house. All 14 of us made wonderful memories together as we lounged in the cottage, played on the beach, frolicked in the water, sailed and fished the ocean, dined on the daily catch and relaxed with loved ones. This was Leila's grand introduction to our family and her first vacation (in only her second week of life).

Here's Liliana in her new flip flops and wrap-around sunglasses... ready for the beach. She poses on the large deck that stretches behind the house and overlooks the bay and a small pond that draws pelicans and other water birds. Plenty of seashells and hermit crabs lined the beachfront and provided entertainment for the cousins.

On the gulf side of our house was a gorgeous beach with fine white sand and very few tourists. We spent many days hanging out in the sand, collecting shells and watching dolphins (stingrays and a jellyfish, too) while the children played. Here's Liliana, who enjoyed a brief moment buried in the sand (thanks to Daddy). She couldn't get enough of the beach!

Below, the cousins (minus sleeping Leila Madeline) pose during a breathtaking sunset. The final photo shows the entire family together on our last day of the vacation.

The Greatest Happiness

It's been almost a week since we became a family of four. I can honestly say that we have never known greater happiness. Leila is the most content little angel, and we all adore her. Liliana continues to excel in her new role as big sister, showering Leila with love and affection and helping in every way possible. Although Liliana needs a little extra TLC these days, we're happy to reinforce how much she means to us.

As for Wade, he's probably the most protective father on the face of the planet. To take even better care of us, he made the decision to upgrade our vehicle. We ditched my old '96 Bonneville for an '08 Sienna (huge sigh of relief)...and I now drive with confidence knowing that I'm sure to get from point A to B without being stranded somewhere in between. It's a welcome feeling, especially with a newborn sweetie in the car.

All in all, it's a great day in our household. As we take time to enjoy one another and adjust to this new family dynamic, I may choose sleep over blogworld from time to time. If you would be so kind, please continue to hold us up in prayer and ask God to protect our family and this adoption. We covet your prayers and feel so thankful that you are walking along side us on this journey. May you be richly blessed.

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

All is well on the home front. We're adjusting to being a family of four, and I'm adjusting to living life in a somnambulant state. I forgot just how much care and attention the family (children, big and small) need when a new baby comes home.

Leila Madeline is thriving and loves being home. She is a very happy and alert baby, who eats ravenously (4 oz. every meal) and is growing by leaps and bounds. Yesterday she weighed 7 lbs., 3.5 oz. at her new baby check-up, where our pediatrician said, "She's absolutely perfect." Of course, we already knew that...but it was nice to have the affirmation from a medical standpoint.

Liliana is enamored with Leila. Every time she moves, Liliana gives us the play-by-play: "She's opening her eyes! She's looking at me! She's moving her teeny tiny feet. She's so precious!" When they're riding in the backseat of the car, I have little need for a mirror, because Liliana keeps me posted on every little detail. She is an incredibly caring and attentive big sister. I am so proud of her and thankful that God's timing was so perfect for our family.

My spirits are high, although I have a dull and constant ache in my solar plexus. Little did I know that adoption would double as a diet plan. Due to the stress and upset tummy, I've probably lost five pounds over the past week. I think the uneasy feeling will remain until our foster parent status is upgraded to that of adoptive parents (which will take 60-90 days). Although I don't mind shedding a couple pounds, I much rather be plain old Mommy.

Thank you so much for lifting us up in prayer throughout this process. It has made a huge difference in our lives, and we are so grateful. Please continue to pray that God protects this adoption and each of us as we cope with living in limbo as a foster placement trying to be a family.

May God bless you and keep you,
Ramona

Our Girls...

Leila's Homecoming

She's home! We are thrilled to be a family of four, and we're praying for quick adjustment, comfort, peace, healing and great hope for all of us who left the hospital today. From now on, we will love Leila Madeline as our own and pray that she is home to stay.

The Author of the Story

Tonight has been harder than I ever imagined. While I am so thankful to be bringing Leila Madeline home in the morning, my heart is aching for Dana and her family. We are connected on such a profound level that I can't help but feel their pain and sadness. I can only imagine what they are experiencing as they prepare to say good-bye to the child they love. My heart is literally aching, and I cannot hold back the tears.

I never expected to feel this way. I thought waiting four days after Leila's birth would be unbearable, that it would be awkward, tense and just plain difficult. Little did I know that her hospital stay would be such an incredible blessing to everyone involved. It is so evident that God is the author of this adoption story.

We (those of us God chose as main characters) have been keenly aware of His presence, and we have stood in awe of His providence. There have been so many "goosebump" moments during which we've clearly witnessed the hand of God caring for this adoption. How amazing that He loves us enough to plan every little detail! And in His perfect wisdom and tender mercy, He brought together two completely different worlds for the love of one child.

The days ahead will be bittersweet. The bonds that have been created through this process are very special to us, and we will truly miss spending time with the people we have come to know and love. For that reason, there is a sadness in seeing this short chapter of our lives come to a close.

We have been forever changed by this experience. Our lives are richer and filled with greater joy...not just because our dream of adoption is being fulfilled, but because we have been assured that our lives have great purpose in God's kingdom. He is using our lives to tell His story.

Leila's Homecoming

Tomorrow is the big day! Leila Madeline is coming home to us, hopefully to stay! Here is a photo taken this morning as Wade and I spent time with Dana and her parents. We are forever grateful to them for this beautiful and sacrificial gift. Please lift them up in prayer as they leave the hospital without the child they love and on to the lives God has planned for them. Also, please pray for us as we adjust (gladly) to being a family of four.

Praising His name,
Ramona

Blessings All Around

I just arrived home from another night at the hospital with Leila Madeline. Although I am physically and emotionally exhausted, I wouldn't trade one moment of my time with her. This evening was especially beautiful, because Dana (Leila's birthmother) and I shared two treasured hours with one another. Over the past five weeks, I have come to love Dana--not only for the gift she is giving us, but also for the amazing person she is. What an unexpected blessing!

Wade and I have experienced every conceivable emotion on this adoption thrill-ride. The euphoric highs, deep lows and unexpected twists have left us reeling and exhausted...and we've only just begun. God willing, Leila will come home Wednesday morning and she will become a part of our family forever.

Our deepest appreciation for your continued prayers. Please lift up this adoption and every person involved, that we may all continue to be richly blessed. This is a rare and special adoption, and we give all praise and glory to God for His perfect plan.

Liliana Meets Leila

Yesterday Liliana had an opportunity to meet Leila and give her a bottle. We've been spending as much time with her as we can, while also respecting the birthmother's time. Last night I held Leila for three hours in a private nursery, and it was such a beautiful experience.

Leila sleeps for hours, then is alert for about 30 minutes before it's time to eat. She calmly looks around, makes adorable faces and doesn't cry until it's about one minute 'til bottle time. She is absolutely precious, and I'm so thankful to have so much bonding time in the hospital. Praise the Lord for this adoption!

Introducing Leila Madeline

We are delighted to announce that Leila Madeline was born this morning at 4:48am, weighing 6 lbs. 14 oz. and measuring 20 inches. She is a beautiful and healthy little angel, and we couldn't be happier to welcome her into our family. God willing, she will come home to us Wednesday morning. We praise God for this little miracle and pray that He will continue to bless the adoption process!

Waiting...

Okay, we raced home from Indiana (where we spent exactly 12 hours) and haven't heard a single word since we returned home. Poor Dana must be miserable. She went into the hospital at 2:00am with contractions. At that point, she was dilated 2 cm, but the contractions didn't progress...so the doctor sent her home to eat, walk and sleep (yeah, right). We were hoping that she'd have the baby by now...but no such luck.

Right now, we're on pins and needles waiting to hear that Dana has been admitted to the hospital. When the phone rings, we'll be out the door! Please pray for a safe, healthy & speedy delivery. Also, please lift up all of the individuals involved and pray that God allows this adoption to go smoothly.

Happy Independence Day!

Here She Comes!

We just received the call that Dana is going into labor! Please pray for a safe delivery, thriving baby and beautiful adoption experience. Please pray that Leila comes home to stay!

Lord, we leave all of the details in your hands! Yippeee, we're almost a family of four!

Liliana's Athletic Prowess

Yesterday was a big day in the athletic arena. Not only did Liliana begin riding a "big girl" bike with training wheels, but she also made huge strides at the pool. Oh yeah, my baby girl jumped off the diving board and swam to the ladder seven times in a row--without a flotation device or assistance from Mommy or Daddy! You may have heard my cheering from across town.

Speaking of swimming, here's a video of contagious laughter and serious fun at the hotel swimming pool...

On the Road Again!

Liliana and I accompanied Wade on yet another work trip last week. This time we visited the Illinois cities of Peoria and Chicago, creating adventures all along the way. In Peoria, Liliana had a comfortable view from the jogging stroller as we galavanted around the downtown area. The riverfront had a great walking path with several parks for Liliana to climb and play. And, of course, she had a ball in the hotel pool.

In Chicago, we were excited to dine at our fave, the Grand Lux Cafe, and spend time with friends at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Here we are in front of a beautiful botanical display--one of dozens on Michigan Avenue. Can you tell that we just enjoyed the most delicious brunch known to mankind? The night before, we walked to the Taste of Chicago in Grant Park. What a mad crowd! I've never seen so many people trying to get a slice of deep dish pizza!

While Liliana and I hung out with my college friend, Tiffani and her girls, Wade had an opportunity to play golf. It was his second outing of the trip...so he was lovin' it! Here's Liliana with her new pal, Maddi. They're pretending to be baby beavers, like those in the exhibit behind them.

Below, the friends are joined by little Kayla (Maddi's sister) in a sculpture near the zoo cafe. The girls had a wonderful time, and I enjoyed catching up with my friend of 18 years (wow, that seems like a long time). Here's to old friends and good times!

What's In A Name?

Just to clear up any confusion..Leila is pronounced Ly-la, not Lay-la. And no, we did not seek out "L" names. In fact, the runner-up started with "V." We love the sophistication and playfulness of the name, Leila, and we chose to honor the birthmother, Dana, by incorporating the name she chose (Madeline) as the middle name. Leila Madeline, come home soon and come home to stay!

Trusting and Proceeding

When you begin the adoption process, professionals tell you that it's going to be a much more difficult process than you'd think...and they're not kidding. We haven't known a single dull moment since we started down this road, and this week has been wildly emotional.

After Monday's startling & disappointing news, we regrouped, gathered information and prayerfully considered the situation. We realized that we have absolutely no control over the success of this adoption...it's all in God's hands. And we basically have two options: jump ship or trust the Lord and charge forward. So, full speed ahead!

This challenge has shown us our deep level of commitment to Leila and Dana, while helping us to place complete trust in God's plan. We are answering His call, no matter where it may lead. While we have no assurances about our future with Leila, we have total peace about our decision to proceed.

So here's the status: At this point, Dana has asked us to be present for Leila's birth (which is so exciting and could happen any day now). When she is discharged from the hospital, we will bring her home and into our family. As difficult as it may be, we intend to think of her as "ours for now" until the adoption is final. And every day, we'll pray Leila is home to stay!

Leila Madeline

This morning--with great expectation--we named our baby girl Leila Madeline. For us, giving her a name emotionally secured her place in our family. We referred to her by name throughout the day, and it felt so good...and right.

Several hours later, we learned of complications that may seriously jeopardize the adoption. Our social worker classified the situation as "highly, highly risky" and recommended that we reconsider our plans to bring Leila home from the hospital (and instead, place her in interim foster care). We are deeply saddened by this turn of events, and turn to the Lord for guidance, wisdom and a miraculous outcome.

As we try to make sense of this disappointing news, I know in my heart that God's plan is good (even if it feels rotten right now). I think to myself (wishfully, perhaps), "Maybe this is a crazy blessing in disguise. Or maybe this is His way of adding more drama to heighten the impact of a happy ending." Maybe. Hopefully.

It's time to pray boldly. Please pray that Leila comes home to us and that this recent development is an unexpected means to that end. Please pray for our hearts. We want to be faithful and trusting, We want to pray that His will be done. But at the same time, we don't feel ready for the impact of another loss. Quite honestly, we're tired of grieving. Our family is incomplete, and we're painfully aware of it every day.

Thank you for walking along side us,
Ramona

Fighting Fires and Carseats

After a brutal brawl with a viral infection, Liliana is officially on the mend. Here she is at Valley Park Fire District open house, where she fought "fires," drove the giant fire engine and posed for photo ops with mommy.

Our main mission was to have the infant car seats installed by a professional (thanks, Kyle), and we serendipitously discovered a world of fun with our local firefighters.

After witnessing two strong and thoroughly trained professionals (80, yes 80 hours of practice) push and pull for 30 minutes to properly install car seat bases in our vehicles, I have just question: Why should we be surprised that 85% of car seats are incorrectly installed by parents?

At least I can check one more thing off of my To Do list!

Careening

For the past few days, my emotions have been careening between pure elation and unsettling doubt & fear. Although I'd love to keep living in bliss, I know that's not a realistic residence for an adoptive mama-to-be. At this point, I'll settle for a happy medium of cautious optimism.

The negative onslaught of feelings is due to the realization that we could be setting ourselves up for a monumental loss. The birthbather could assert his rights or Dana could change her mind. I've always known it, but I've been applying the knowledge to "birthparents in general," not our baby's birthparents. According to our social worker, about one third of adoptions fall through because the parents change their minds.

If Dana chose to parent, I'd experience a certain amount of happiness for her... but the rest of me would be utterly devastated. It would be another loss...and another period of grief. And I don't think I could handle losing another child. So, I'm trying to prepare myself without getting overwhelmed by fear. This is a difficult situation to reconcile, a major exercise in trusing God and remembering that His plan is perfect. After all, it's not my will, but Thy will be done. Please pray for my heart!

That being said, we continue to lift up the health and development of our baby and her birthmother. She is due two weeks from tomorrow!

One is Silver and the Other Gold

Today we enjoyed a welcome visit from old friends, Marie and Skyla. Even though the girls are three years apart, they had a grand ol' time together. The highlight of their afternoon was playing soccer with the master, Wade. When it comes to sports, he's the most patient and giving teacher around.

While the kids played, Marie and I had an opportunity to catch up and laugh. Thanks for a great time, Marie and Skyla. Let's do it again, soon!

Camels, Goats, Clydesdales..Oh My!

It was a beautiful morning at Grant's Farm, with many unexpected thrills (courtesy of the unpredictable animals).

Left: Liliana poses with a clydesdale at the stable. Below: A camel swings its head around and tries to get fresh with Liliana. Although she loved the gesture, she certainly didn't appreciate his breath!

Play the video below to get a taste of the goat pen, where Liliana fed the goats with bottles and brushed their nappy fur. I've heard goats will eat anything, and this video is proof. So funny.

Hope you enjoy...we did!

My Cup Runneth Over

There are no words to convey the depth of my love for this child. She is an absolute blessing, and I can't wait to meet the precious sister God is preparing for her. At this point, the baby is full term--just three weeks 'til her due date! May God hold her in the palm of His hand until we hold her in our arms.

Foster to Adopt

Whew! What a whirlwind. We've been going nonstop to prepare for the arrival of our little one. In order to bring her directly home from the hospital, Wade and I have to become certified foster parents...which means another mountain of paperwork, CPR/First Aid and coursework. Since we just learned of these new requirements yesterday, I stayed up 'til 2:00am to complete everything--and used up an entire pen in the process! After a private CPR/BFA class on Monday, we'll be on our way to certification!

One week ago, my "To Do" list was two pages long. Now I'm down to five more tasks:
1. Find a stroller that holds a newborn and a 45 pound preschooler.
2. Get diapers and formula.
3. Purchase a special gift for the birthmother, Dana.
4. Locate and install base for car seat.
5. Meet with attorney on Tuesday.

Hopefully we'll feel completely ready by the middle of next week. And God willing, everything will go smoothly. Praying for healthy and safe development and delivery!

Animal Paradise Adventure

I have to rewind to our most recent road trip and share this footage of our adventures at Animal Paradise near Springfield, Missouri.

The first video is sweet, while the second is a little crazy. Enjoy!

A Gift from God

I am on cloud nine right now! We met with our baby's birthmother this evening, and it couldn't have been a more beautiful and fulfilling experience. It is so clear that God has led us to this place in our lives and connected us with this young woman. She is truly a gift. We are totally elated and completely at peace about this process. Praise God for this glorious blessing!

Two Days in Branson

Who knew Branson could be so much fun?

It's a Girl!!!

We are thrilled to announce that we have been matched for adoption, and our baby girl is due on July 7th! Our hearts are overflowing with emotion, and our minds are totally reeling with anticipation.

Boy, did God surprise our socks right off! We had no idea we were even being considered, so we were totally shocked yesterday when we received the news. We are so thankful and humbled that God led the birthmother to choose us, and we are delighted to meet her on Monday afternoon.

This is such a crazy, but welcome whirlwind! And, as with any adoption, there are many factors that must come together before we bring our baby home and finalize the adoption. We pray that God will take care of every little detail and allow the process to go smoothly. We pray that this precious little one continues to experience healthy growth and development, while her mother continues to be blessed in the process. And we pray for wisdom, guidance and peace with the decisions that lie ahead.

Thank you for your prayers, support and love as we take this journey. We are so very blessed!

To Him be all glory,
Ramona

I Can Think Clearly Now, the Pain is Gone

Well, the pain is not gone, but it's much better. I survived the frenzy of medical appointments, tests and treatments, and I'm moving forward. Thank you so much for praying and encouraging me through the past few days. It's been painful, taxing and a little scary. At this point, the docs think I'm suffering from mixed-type migraine headaches, and Sunday's crazy symptoms were likely part of a "complicated" migraine.

The CT Scan was clear and the MRI was fairly unremarkable (bulging disc at C6&7 and acute sinusitis--go figure). The neurologist also ordered an MRA (imaging of the arteries) for Tuesday. He advised me to have more regular osteopathic manipulation for my neck and spine, while taking Topamax daily for prevention of migraines. I say yes to the first recommendation and "not yet" to the second. I prefer the more natural means of getting healthy.

So, we'll see what my good ol' D.O. can do, wait for the results of the MRA...and go from there. Once again, thank you for your kindness and support. And praise God for His continued provisions.

Blessings to you,
Ramona

Doctors and Drugs

I'm in the midst of medical mania. For the past couple weeks, I've been experiencing severe headaches, which I've tried (operative word) to manage with a combination of medication, massage, stretching, exercise, Active-On and prayer. Sunday after church, my headache started raving, and a host of other crazy symptoms joined the party. My right eye went berserk and lost it's ability to see straight, while my brain forgot how to communicate to my mouth. Since my sentences no longer matched my thoughts, some crazy phrases came out. Even Liliana looked at me and said, "Mama, what are you talking about?!" As soon as Wade took one look (and listen) at me, he rushed me to the hospital.

The staff at St. Luke's thought I might be having a stroke, so they hooked me up to a bunch of shiny contraptions, took a CT scan and monitored my vitals. They were so uppity about my condition that they wouldn't even let me go to the potty! After confirming that I wasn't stroking, they observed my behavior, sent blood to the lab and finally let me pee--in a cup! After "resting" in the ER for a few hours and allowing the doctor to experiment with a host of painkillers, I finally went home. I was so thankful that I didn't have to stay overnight as originally expected. My bedroom is much more comfortable and quiet than the hospital.

Since returning home, my life is all about doctors and drugs. Primary doc yesterday, MRI this afternoon and neurologist tomorrow. Lots of medicine in between.

On top of that, I'm supposed to be "taking it easy"--whatever that means for a busy mother with a huge To-Do list, clients to call, an adoption situation stamped "urgent," and a 3.5-year-old who doesn't slow down.

All in all, life is a little overwhelming right now. But I'm so thankful to be feeling a little better, thinking a little more clearly and able to potty whenever I feel like it! Please pray for strength, rest, wisdom and guidance. Your support means the world!

Blessings,
Ramona

Midwestern Memorial Day Weekend

We just spent a week on the road, part in Illinois for Wade's work and part visiting my family in Indiana. Liliana and I had a ball staying in a hotel and seeing the local sights. She really dug playing in the pool and getting ready for summer fun at Chadwick.

Our time with family was relaxing and filled with hometown fun. Liliana played with her cousins, Luke and Clayton, the entire weekend. It was a delight to see the way they shared and communicated with one another.

Wade and I had lots of time to catch up with my mom and brother during the long weekend. I'm sure it's safe to say that Wade's highlights involved golf and my bro's new hawg. For me, relaxing with family was key.

Although I battled back & neck pain during the entire trip, I wouldn't change a thing. And next time, we'll bring Liliana's helmet so she can ride the Harley properly. Look how tiny she is on that huge Harley!

Lovin' the Great Outdoors

We're so thankful for spring weather in St. Louis! Our family is all about the outdoors, so the warm weekend was such a welcomed treat. Liliana relishes the opportunity to "help" in the yard--digging, planting flowers and watering plants. We wear matching gardening gloves, and she feels so grown up when we ask her to complete tasks. Here's Liliana in the tree in our front yard, just after we watered the garden.

Another favorite activity is bike-riding. Her little legs pedal so fast that the bike can't keep up! Lately she's been doing tricks, like riding with no hands, putting her feet on the handlebars, kicking her legs straight out, and standing up on the seat...all while the bike is in motion. What a daredevil!

On another note, Liliana has been blowing our minds with her incredible vocabulary. And she remembers almost everything she hears. Yesterday I asked her (for the 2nd time) if she washed her hands after playing outside. With a kind, but firm tone, she replied: "Mommy, I already told you that I washed them. Please don't ask me again. My yes is yes, and my no is no." Talk about hearing your own words come out of someone else's mouth! I heart motherhood!

Waiting on God

God makes a promise, faith believes it, hope anticipates it, patience quietly awaits it.
~Unknown

Considering Concurrent Adoptions

Despite perceived setbacks with our adoption desires, God has protected our hearts and minds from discouragement. Yes, I experienced momentary frustration regarding the state guidelines, but my eyes remain steadily focused on God's call for our future.

Right now we find ourselves trying to discern the specifics of God's will. We are certain that we have been called to adopt a child (multiple, in fact) into our family. And there are things we must do in order to make that happen. We've completed our part with the agency (except the patient waiting), and now the rest is in God's hands.

With such a long and unpredictable road--and to avoid being on a wait list later--many families are pursuing concurrent adoptions. As we wait and deliberate, Wade and I both feel led to consider this option for our family. (It's pretty amazing that we share the same zest, because we were in very different places a year ago.) In these situations, the agencies work together to ensure that the adoptions occur at least 6 months apart. However, with the current lull, it's likely that they'd be much further apart.

This is tricky gray area. While we want to recognize our desires and take a proactive approach, we don't want to be overzealous and step outside of God's will for our lives. If you are led, please pray for wisdom, guidance and discernment in this area.

...Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done!

State Adoption Sidelined

Just days after submitting our application for a state adoption, we heard from Jennifer, the foster and adoption coordinator at the Missouri Department of Social Services. I was so thrilled to get her voicemail that my mind started spinning out all kinds of potential scenarios. Jennifer and I played phone tag for several days, so I had a substantial period of time to let my mind go crazy. Unfortunately, my excitement came to a screeching halt quickly after Jennifer and I connected.

According to Missouri's rules, families cannot be considered while they are actively working with another agency. Sad, but understandable. Furthermore, infants are rarely eligible for adoption until they reach the age of 15 months. Regardless of the abuse or neglect a parent has shown to previous children, expectant parents have 15 months to show that they have been reformed. So each baby born to an offending mother lives in limbo for over a year of it's life to see if mom or dad can get it together. Sad, and inexcusable.

Having worked with severe cases of child abuse and neglect in the past, I find this policy to be quite disturbing. In my experience, about 1% of unfit parents regain the ability to be healthy caregivers. Even Jennifer agreed that the system is hard to stomach. According to her, the rule exists only to prevent legal appeals, not to protect the best interests of children. So sad.

I am disappointed that we will be unable to adopt through this avenue, but I'm more disgusted with the system. It's so frustrating that the rights of offending parents trump the rights of innocent babies..and, as usual, the people who desire to be parents are sidelined. It's just not right.

There's my soapbox for the day. This is a setback, but I'm not going to let it get me down. I am extremely grateful for where we are, and I'm even more hopeful for the future.

Chicago Weekend

We celebrated Mothers' Day weekend in Chicago. Wade had a conference for work, so we made it into a long family weekend. Liliana and I checked out Bloomingdale and the Indian Lakes Resort during Wade's sessions, and we spent time together in the evening.

The remainder of our mini-vacation was spent in downtown Chicago, where we hoofed it around town.

We took a trolley to Navy Pier, but didn't hail a cab the entire weekend.

Left: Wade and Liliana in front of the giant ampitheater.

Liliana especially loved the area surrounding the Art Institute. With its gardens, fountains, statues and millions of pebbles--she was in heaven. She especially enjoyed pretending the pebbles were birdseed.

Although the weather was on the chilly side, the sun made an appearance from time to time...and we soaked it up!

Believe it or not, this traveling puppet show was one of Wade's favorite attractions. Of course, Liliana got a kick out of it...but Wade talked about it for hours.

The highlight of my trip was a crazy good restaurant (and my new favorite) called The Grand Lux Cafe. The food and atmosphere were so incredible that we went back for Mother's Day breakfast. If you go to Chicago, you owe it to yourself to dine at the Grand Lux on Michigan Avenue!


Liliana loved Navy Pier. With so much to see and do, we spent half a day there. Our hotel was right in the heart of the Magnificent Mile, so we were close to all of the action.

Left: Liliana playing near the dancing fountains at Navy Pier.

No trip is complete without a visit to Rainforest Cafe! We were all enamored with the tropical ambience, and Liliana was thrilled to be surrounded by her favorite animals.

Minus the challenging 3-year-old behaviors, our Chicago adventure was delightful! The only thing that could have made our trip more spectacular would have been spending time with our Chicago-dwelling pals (who were all unavailable). We missed you guys!

Here's to Chicago & a memorable Mother's Day!

Happy Mothers' Day Weekend!

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The Lion and the Lamb

The following story moved me to tears this morning. For instant heart-warming, be sure to watch the brief video by clicking the enclosed link. Amazing!

Six years ago, a Columbian woman found an injured and malnurished lion on the verge of death. She took him home and nursed him back to health. After the lion made a full recovery, the woman released him to the custody of the local zoo. When she visited him to see how he was doing in his new environment, this was the reaction she received. Love conquers all, indeed!

Diggin' the Yardwork

We're in the midst of a serious yard overhaul. It's been exhausting for Wade and absolutely thrilling for Liliana. She is excited by every new opportunity, even the tasks we deplore (e.g., shoveling & moving dirt). Here she is with her little shovel, just loving the big boys (neighbor kids) who are helping with the project.

Below, Liliana finds a "wiggly, squiggly, squirmy wormy" and examines it. That's my girl!

Four Baby Swallows

The eggs have hatched, and we now have four baby swallows living in the wreath on our front door. All five eggs hatched, and one baby fell out of the nest. The poor baby didn't make it, so Wade gave it an (im)proper burial. The next photo is a close-up that shows a couple babes sleeping piggy-back. And yes, that is bird poop all around the edge of the nest. Yuck! It's a small price to pay for watching this little miracle unfold each day. Now if we could only get a baby human on our doorstep!

Big Decisions

After prayerful deliberation, Wade and I have decided to pursue a second adoption. Our hearts are bursting to love and care for a house full of children, and we are realizing that each adoption probably will take years! Believe it or not, we have already been waiting five months with no sign of a potential match. At this rate, we'll be using baby strollers as our walkers!

Having researched the various options, it seems that the most natural choice is to apply with the Missouri Department of Social Services. Rather than going with another agency, this will diversify our options and allow us to access a different group of children in need. We are sending our Home Assessment Application today. This is uncharted territory, so we don't know what happens next. Stay tuned!

Spring is in the Air

We're in spring cleaning mode around here. It's a great feeling to know exactly what you have and where to find it. What a concept!

Here's to spring weather and a simpler, more organized life!

Oh, My Aching Head

It's been a rough week of migraine headaches...so I didn't accomplish much of anything (hence, no posts). Looking back, it's pretty amazing that I was able to care for Liliana, keep my family fed and see clients. So far, today looks like it's going to be migraine-free. Thank you, Lord!

Here's to a new lease on life!

Rare Footage

This is valuable photo for us. I liken it to a clear image of Bigfoot for scientists. This is hard evidence of a rare phenomenon in our family: Liliana sitting still and snuggling. Some believed it to be impossible. And now there is proof. I plan to frequent the Metrolink with the hope of recreating the moment that inspired Liliana nestle into my lap. It'll be worth every penny.

Go Cards!

Liliana attended her first Cardinals game last week. We had a ball with friends, Rachel and Jacob, who attended with us. It was a real treat to ride the Metrolink train, eat ballpark snacks and meet Fredbird! The Cards lost, but we had a wonderful time!

Earthquake!

Everyone in the Midwest is talking about it this morning...and we're no exception.

At 4:37am, I dreamt that I was lying in a vibrating bed--you know, the 1970's motel beds that shook for a quarter (and hopefully no longer exist). Then, nature called on line one. I headed to the potty--and, much to my surprise, the toilet was vibrating, too. I thought, "This sure is a strange dream." It was at that moment the fog rolled away and I realized this was no dream. The entire house was shaking...and it was an earthquake!

By God's grace, I was able to go back to sleep...but not before feeling the wonder and awe of the event. This morning, I learned the details and was completely amazed. It's hard to wrap your mind around this kind of thing. I mean, the earthquake was three hours away, on the IN/IL border...yet it was strong enough to wake us from dreamland in St. Louis. I can't imagine the terror and destruction experienced by those on the fault line...and others around the world who've known much, much worse.

This was my first experience with an earthquake. Although it was mild (and actually kind of cool) for us, I know that the effects were devastating for others. My heart and prayers go out to those who are picking up the pieces. May God hold them in the palm of His hand.

Four, Four, Four

A friend sent me a fun little "get to know ya" thing. I'm game. Although you're technically supposed to email the answers, I'm going to take it to blog-world. After all, each of my friends stop by from time to time. Here goes...

A) Four places that I go over and over:
Church & Edwards House
St. Louis Public Library
Trader Joe's
Sam's/Walmart
(In summer, the pool tops the list)

B) Four people who email me regularly:
Kate
Stacy
Dad W
Heather

C) Four of my favorite places to eat:
Houlihans (#1 in St. Louis)
Crescent City (#1-in Mississippi)
First Watch
Chevy's Fresh Mex

D) Four places I would rather be right now:
on a warm, sunny beach in Kauai
traveling the world
in southern IN with family
in southern MS with family

E) Four people I think will respond:
Mostly applicable for email

F) Four TV shows I watch all the time:
The Office
House
American Idol
Fox News (any and all)

If you're willing to share, I'd love to know your answers (to one or all). Feel free to post away in the comment section!

Bird Watch

There are now FIVE eggs in the nest! I have no idea how five baby Robins will fit in this tiny home, but we're on pins and needles waiting for them to hatch! Wow, I never imagined it could be so exciting to have birds move in. Guess I'm easily amused.

A New Addition

Okay, I thought my prayers were pretty specific...but maybe not clear enough! This week, we received an addition to our family. Much to our surprise, a fearless robin built a nest in the wreath on our front door. While we were deliberating about what to do (concerned that a visitor may lose an eye to a protective mama bird), an egg appeared in the nest. Yesterday, a second egg. This morning, a third!

If you come to our home, please approach with caution. Better yet, wear sunglasses!

Overflowing Hearts

Tonight was our weekly small group marriage study, during which Liliana spent time in our church's children's program. One of the caregivers had her precious foster baby with her, and Liliana was in love. She could not take her eyes (and hands) off of the tiny little girl, and she continued to talk about the baby as we were driving home. My heart was overjoyed to observe Liliana's tender and caring spirit; yet, it aches to know that our adoption may be weeks, months or even years away.

I know that God's plan is perfect, and I trust His timing. However, sometimes I wonder what's wrong with NOW? I mean, it seems that this is the ideal time for our family to grow...and yet there seems to be no movement in the adoption process.

Our life is good--very good--but it would be even richer with another member in our family. Our hearts are overflowing. Please pray that I would be patient, content and a blessing to others as we wait for our little one to come home.

In His grip,
Ramona

Thoughts of a Three-Year-Old

Here are quotes from Liliana during the past week...

Aye aye, Mama!

The bathroom is full of chemicals and viruses.

Do you enjoy conversation?

I'm exercising to keep my body strong and healthy.

Mama, can we please talk about this later?

Let's keep first things first.

State your problem, Daddy.

I'm going to hatch a plan.

I live in a foxhole, Mama.

What's your heart's desire?

S-T-O-P spells popcorn shrimp.

I'm gonna rock this town!